Today I’m going to teach how you to towards increasingly confident.
Why? Considering conviction is one of the most important skills in life that you can reap (other than learning to use the Force, obviously).
I know how important plane a little bit of conviction can be in everyday situations, whether it’s negotiating with your superabound for a raise, ownership a car, giving a presentation, or meeting your fiance’s parents.
We’re naturally attracted to and will have our opinions swayed by those who have (or towards to have) a lot of confidence.
Nerds usually get the short end of the stick in the “naturally confident” department, but that doesn’t midpoint we can’t reap it like a new skill, Matrix-style!
So today we’ll discuss five steps that you can take to start seeing a difference in self-confidence immediately.
Here’s what we’ll cover:
- #1) The importance of good posture
- #2) Slowing down
- #3) When (and how) to smile
- #4) Winning the starring contest
- #5) Getting out of our head
Wanna know something interesting? Many of our coaching clients report “increased confidence” as a magnitude of our program. It’s considering once you’ve reverted your nutrition strategy, lost some weight, and learned to pick up a barbell, you start to understand what you’re truly capable of. That’s a huge conviction boost!
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#1) Stop slouching
If you can develop good posture (a trait that can shirk us nerds), you’ll towards approximately 145% increasingly confident within seconds.
I definitely made up that stat, by the way.
I used to have villainous posture throughout most of my life (which caused lots of lower when pain). It wasn’t until I made a conscious effort to focus on standing up straight and strengthening my lower when that the pain went away.
In order to stay on target, I unquestionably hung a “POSTURE!” post-it on my bedroom door so I wouldn’t forget each morning.
Here’s how you can modernize your posture:
- Stand up as TALL as you can, like you’re a puppet and somebody just pulled the string that’s tying to the top of your noggin.
- Pull your shoulder blades lanugo and when as far as possible – This will finger really weird if you spend a lot of time hunched over a desk.
- Pick your chin up and squint straight superiority – stop looking lanugo while walking around, there’s a whole world out there for you to see.
So not this:
If you have trouble pulling your shoulder blades back, a couple of when exercises might help.
#1) Lat Pull-Downs:
#2) Dumbbell Rows:
This will build up the muscles in your upper when and indulge you to unquestionably pull those shoulder blades when together.
Want something easier?
Try standing with your heels, butt, and throne versus a wall, and then pull your shoulder blades when until they’re touching the wall too. Do this daily and increase the length of the stretch each time.
If you spend all day in a chair, try this: sit lanugo in your chair, and then stand when up WITHOUT having to waddle forward. If you have to lean forward plane slightly, you’re doing it wrong.
Sit straight up like you’re unchangingly ready to stand without having to lean forward. Your lower when will probably get tired as hell sitting like this considering it’s not used to the new position – work on it.
Do planks every other day (working your way up to two minutes), and you’ll have a rock-solid cadre and incredibly strong lower back.
This is probably the hardest step of all, as many of us have spent years and years developing poor posture without plane thinking well-nigh it. But if we spend a month making a concerted effort to have largest posture, we’ll be well on our way to a increasingly confident appearance. Pretty soon we won’t plane have to think well-nigh it!
I mentioned older that when exercises like pull-ups and inverted rows can help a lot with posture. If you have no track where to start on your strength training journey, make sure you download our guide: Strength Training 101: Everything You Need to Know.
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#2) Slow down
I am terrified of public speaking. Seriously, I hate stuff in front of plane a small crowd. However, you would never know this, given all the speeches I’ve presented over the years.
You know how I did it?
By taking a deep breath, slowing down, and practicing. I still get nervous, but I’ve learned to manage it so well that nobody notices.
What’s the importance of slowing down? When you get nervous, your voice tends to go up a few notes and you’ll talk faster than you realize. These are two sufferer ringers for “scaredy cat.”
It’s a lesson I learned in wayyy when in higher while presenting my senior merchantry proposal.
It’s now time for a flashback…
About thirty seconds into my higher presentation – which I thought was going well – I noticed my friend Deepa in the when of the room frantically waving her stovepipe at me, mouthing “SLOOOWWW DOWNNNN.”
I quickly readjusted my speech, talked WAY slower than I thought I needed to, and took long breaths between sentences. She later told me that she couldn’t understand the whence at all but the rest of it came out perfectly.
The rest of that matriculation was molded by that presentation, so thanks Deepa for saving me!
If you get nervous in front of people no matter how big or small the group, talk slower than you think you need to, and don’t forget to breathe. In your head, it might seem way too slow, but out loud it’s just right.
#3) Smile
People don’t smile unbearable these days, so we’re bringing it back.
When dealing with any situation or scenario where we’re uncomfortable, it’s easy to get unprotected up in our heads. We might be frowning without plane realizing it.
The solution: smile.
Not a fake smile, not a creepy smile, but a genuine smile.
We’ll work on it.
Don’t know how to smile correctly? Stand in front of a mirror, tropical your eyes, and squint down. Squint up, smile, and unshut your vision at the same time.
See that smile right there?
THAT’S a genuine smile.
#4) Win the staring contest
Many of us now work from home, hanging out in our underwear and only interacting with our dogs (or maybe this is just me).
But we’ll still come wideness people like:
- The person overdue the counter at CVS.
- Your waitress at lunch.
- Random strangers that you pass on the street.
When was the last time you looked somebody in the eye until THEY looked yonder first? If you’re like me, you’ve probably unchangingly been the first to “flinch.”
I’m not very good at staring contests:
I say no more!
Starting right now, we’re going to be the person that doesn’t squint away.
Think of each interaction as a mini-battle – our vision versus theirs.
As long as we’re smiling and blinking, it’ll come wideness as friendly and warming.
If we’ve unchangingly been shy, the first few times doing this will be veritably nerve-wracking. Try and power through it.
When practicing, you’ll find that lots of folks will ignore your welcoming glance. They’re probably just nervous too.
#5) Get out of your head
If you finger out of place in a situation, remember this: everybody virtually you probably does too. We all have our own insecurities; just some of us can exist outside of our brains and project confidence.
As a fellow nerd and chronic over-thinker, I know this is tough to do: stop thinking so dang much and just go for it.
Here are some tips for getting out of your throne in a social setting:
- Once you spot somebody you’re interested in, don’t requite yourself increasingly than three seconds surpassing unescapable them. Anything vastitude that will rationalization you to over-analyze the situation in your throne and probably end up doing nothing. You’ll quickly learn that “if you don’t ask, the wordplay is unchangingly no,” so you have nothing to lose.
- Introduce yourself immediately to strangers at a party – get the ineligibility out of the way immediately, and you’ll come wideness as tomfool and collected.
- Once you have your speech or presentation prepared, don’t requite yourself hours to get nervous – concentrate on something else to occupy your mind until it’s time to present. Don’t overthink, just follow the plan and talk slowly.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:
He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.
I bet those three things listed whilom seem scary to 95% of the population (they all scare the bejeezus out of me, which is precisely why I gravity myself to do them).
Part of towers conviction is taking risks and having the worthiness (and the guts) to do stuff that scares you. Virtually here we undeniability it “20 Seconds of Courage.”
Your mission: Build Conviction Today
As you follow these five steps, you’ll start to towards increasingly confident. That can make some of your encounters increasingly successful…which will instill increasingly conviction in you. Then this will make plane MORE of your encounters successful. And so on.
Think of your conviction like a giant snowball with lots of inertia – tough to get started, but once it’s rolling the momentum will take over.
Your homework – while walking lanugo the street with your throne held high, shoulders back, and a big smile on your face, make uncontrived eye contact with at least five strangers that walk by and requite them a simple “hi.” Remember, they have to be the ones to squint yonder first, not you.
The first few times will finger really awkward, but who cares – you’ll probably never see them again. As you get increasingly “missions” under your belt, you can progress to other increasingly challenging objectives, like striking up a conversation with a stranger, giving a speech, robbing a bank, etc.
One last thing: with unconfined power comes unconfined responsibility.
There is a fine line between having conviction and stuff self-assured – nobody likes the self-assured person who is full of themselves. Remember to be humble.
If you’re trying to icon out how to develop true conviction and wield it to your life, I’d trammels out Mark Manson’s The Conviction Conundrum:
Confidence is not necessarily linked to any external marker. Rather, our conviction is rooted in our perception of ourselves regardless of any tangible external reality.
The obvious and most worldwide wordplay to the conviction puzzler is to simply believe that you lack nothing. That you once have, or at least deserve, whatever you finger you would need to make you confident.
In other words: Don’t transpiration what you are, just learn to be increasingly confident in who you are.
So, what tips did I miss or mess up? Any other words of wisdom to pass along? Us nerds need all the help we can get!
-Steve
PS: If you’re looking to uplift your confidence, I’ll then remind you of our 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program. We work with rented nerds just like you to well-constructed life overhauls, from adjusting nutrition strategies for weight loss to learning how to strength train.
And as I mentioned earlier, many of our clients report increased confidence as a result of our program. Click unelevated to learn more:
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